urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:notahappyending I lost control, I gave my heart away Alyssa 2004-07-20T05:21:57Z urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:notahappyending:7440 2004-07-20T05:21:57Z 2004-07-20T05:21:57Z its going to be 89 degrees on saturday...fuck yea fuckers!! we're going to the beach!! whos with me bitches!!!!??? urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:notahappyending:5369 2004-07-15T04:58:46Z 2004-07-15T05:00:18Z hmm well..its July 14. Everyone know what that means? <br /><br />5 months till im 17! aha..yes! <br /><br />No but really..i've been thinking. <br /><br />I'm really starting to let myself go. <br /><br />Both physically and mentally. <br /><br />I remember years ago I was at a huge low point in my life..and i let myself go. But smoothy and efficiantly I got back up. <br /><br />But now im slipping. <br /><br />So Ive decided..<br /><br />for the next two weeks (just because i need something to do cause im down friends to hang out with for the next 2 weeks.) im going to "diet" and exercise. <br /><br />Notice the "" around diet. Cause im not going to starve myself or anything. <br /><br />Just now..its like i eat when im bored. which is always. I eat when im not hungry. And when that happens its usually junk food and soda. <br /><br />So again...soda fast! woo! and sugar..and salts...possibily even carbs? <br /><br />AHH! I am the biggest carbaholic! ever! <br /><br />Thats all I eat. Thats all i like! <br /><br />So yea..I'll eat when im hungry..and i'll eat right. <br /><br />And then the exercising. <br /><br />I havent worked out...since a few weeks before school ended. <br /><br />GEEZ! <br /><br />not good. <br /><br />So i'm going to go jogging again...anyone wanna come? <br /><br />Haha jody you know you wanna come get jogging outfits with me and go run!<br />And tennis! we need to play tennis! <br /><br />So yay for healthy alyssa! <br /><br />now this mental thing...<br /><br />I am a fucking nut case right now. <br /><br />Yes people im fucking crazy. <br /><br />This is the part where im utterly confused. <br /><br />I mean I've tried writting it all down obviously, and just thinking...or listening to music, watching tv...reading...anything to get my mind off it. <br /><br />But i need something to cure me. <br /><br />get me not thinking this way. <br /><br />Cause its not the shit in my life...its the way i deal with it. <br /><br />ya know?<br /><br />so please..theres got to be some soul out there who knows how to turn life around for the better...without drastically changing it. <br /><br />Just my outlook on everything needs to be changed. <br /><br />The way everything gets to me. Or the random outbursts i say...but really shouldnt be said. <br /><br />Something needs to be done. <br /><br />Any help would be nice. <br /><br />This one is open to the public...ANYONE out there...please help. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:notahappyending:1723 2004-07-06T22:21:27Z 2004-07-06T22:25:32Z Wow! yes a new journal! But sadly this is a friends only journal! :(<br /><br />You may be asking yourself...why friends only? <br /><br />Well maybe cause theres people in this world that will read your journal then bitch to you about reading it. <br /><br />...bitch to you about reading it? but couldnt they just..<br /><br />yes...they could just NOT READ IT. wow what a fucking concept. But since some people cant manage such a task like that I did them a favor and put it on friends only. <br /><br />Now if you are one of those people who arent on my friends list already and would like to be..then just let me know! It would be my pleasure to add you. <br /><br />Thank you for your understanding!<br /><br />Have a fan-FUCKING-tastic day! : )